Making friends

A:
hey … I think I left my phone in your car; can you call me to make sure I didn’t misplace it?

B:
your phone is safe and sound, playing with my phone. They are so cute together

A:
oh thank u so much, I am such a dork
what’s your morning schedule so I can come by?
or u can leave it in your mailbox if you’re leaving very early

B:
going to the Y at 7:30, home at 9:45

B:
your phone is annoying my phone now and I have to separate them

A:
I’m sorry, its bad

B:
I want my phone to have friends and it’s really difficult

A:
yes, you have to be very careful about the quality of its playmates

B:
but I really cannot have this sort of disrespect going on

A:
Is it insulting? Offensive?
Anyway … could you please put it in an envelope and leave it in the mailbox? I have to leave here around 9

B:
I neither coddle my phone nor give it trophies because I don’t want it to grow up thinking it is privileged

A:
Well it is an aristocrat and it should know its heritage

B:
But there is an “element” about your phone, and – well…

A: ???? first of all there is no “element”

B:
they are both sort of lost souls. so I’ll keep an eye on what they are  texting. Different sides of the track and all. “Maria..Mariaaa. I’ve just met a girl named Maria…”

A:
u are a weirdo.
but I am the one who keeps losing things, so OK

B:
a weirdo? I think not. You can take your phone tmw (although it wants to stay and live here)…

A:
I’m sure it does. It’s ruined.

B:
…to inject a little normalcy into the situation. That’s what Patti Springsteen said about why she and Bruce raised their kids in NJ

A:
that’s nice of Patti. She’s a real down to earth gal

B:
I’m just kidding. Your phone is actually crying now and probably misses you so I am “putting it down” for the night

A:
Thank you. Tell it I’ll pick it up in the morning

B:
btw, don’t be calling me a weirdo if you want to see your phone charged

A:
I’m sorry.

B:
your phone is playing with Legos now!!!!
my phone is playing with makeup

A:
STOP IT!!!

B:
nature??? Or nurture??

A:
it has to go to bed or it will be very cranky
it wants to be an engineer

B:
it wants a beer is what it wants!

A:
could be but the answer is NO

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